How to romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3, and not get dumped

astarion romance baldur's gate 3

Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3 is everyone’s new favorite vampire and he stands as one of the most popular romance options in the game, but maintaining his approval can be a challenge.

Since the games’ early access period, the internet has been in a frenzy at the idea of being able to romance Astarion. Appearing as the stereotypical “hot vampire,” there was rampant speculation regarding what the remainder of his personal quest would contain, as well as how a romantic relationship with Astarion would evolve during a playthrough.

The introduction of Astarion is also a rare opportunity to play a vampire in this style of game. There are few ways to play a vampire in Dungeons and Dragons, as they are often too strong or too burdened by the vampiric curse to be much fun to play in a regular campaign. The illithid tadpole negating those curses means that there is finally a chance to play a vampire in this style of RPG.

Astarion Kiss Bg3

How to raise Astarion’s approval

The player can gain approval from Astarion by making chaotic choices, by prioritizing his desires, and by protecting the illithid tadpoles.

Astarion has one of the more questionable moralities of the romanceable NPCs in Baldur’s Gate 3. Preferring chaos to order and cruelty to compassion, Astarion enjoys when the player makes choices that make others’ lives worse or at least cause some suffering. For Astarion, any option that shows the player values his safety and continued freedom from the vampire lord Cazador gains his approval. This also includes any option that shows Astarion that the player is loyal to him and his desires.

He isn’t completely heartless, though. Being a vampire spawn, Astarion is no stranger to being looked down on, so he approves of acts of kindness toward monstrous creatures.

Once infected with the tadpole, Astarion no longer has any of the traditional vampiric banes such as aversion to running water and the inability to enter homes without invitation. Combined with the tadpole’s insertion breaking Cazador’s control over him, Astarion is very attached to the parasite and approves of any dialogue about using the tadpole’s powers.

Players can romance Astarion while maintaining a good alignment by leaving him at camp when making choices he wouldn’t approve of. Keep in mind though that if his approval isn’t at least at high by the tiefling party at camp, then it could nix the opportunity to romance the rogue.

How to romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3

Players can romance Astarion by gaining enough approval and then making specific dialog choices during act two.

With enough approval, starting a romance with Astarion isn’t difficult. However, maintaining it requires keeping his continued approval in mind. Once he’s a part of the team, there’s a chance of running into an exsanguinated boar. If Astarion is in the party, he will act disinterested and forcefully tell the player that it’s of no interest.

At the next long rest after this interaction, there’s a chance of Astarion attempting to drink the player character’s blood. Once noticed, he will defend himself and eventually confess that he needs blood. This brings attention to Astarion’s monstrous qualities, which hint that he is a vampire.

Baldurs Gate 3 Boar

He will ask if the player will allow him to have some blood to have more strength while fighting. At this point, if the player and lets Astarion feed it gives a large approval boost and buffs Astarion. The player will have to roll to stop Astarion from drinking too much, but he will thank the player and saunter off to find a more filling meal after. Letting Astarion bite the player isn’t necessary to have a relationship with him, but it does make him easier to woo.

The next morning, Astarion will inquire how the player feels and choices that don’t shame him for feeding will garner more approval. This is when he begins to open up about his past, mentioning that he is only a vampire spawn and the tadpole removed the bond to his master. Defending him to other party members once they come over in the conversation gets more approval from him as well.

If Astarion begins to flirt openly and call the player “darling,” it’s a good sign that his approval is getting high enough to start a relationship. After continuing his personal quest “The Pale Elf” and letting him kill the Gur hunter after him, if his approval is high enough he may proposition the player even before the Grove has been saved.

Before or during the party, Astarion offers to spend the night with the player. If the offer is accepted, then once a long rest is started the first intimate scene with Astarion will begin. Keep in mind if the player talks with any other NPC during the tiefling party and accepts an offer to spend time with them then Astarion will decline, stating the player has already offered their company to someone else.


In the Moonrise Tower during act two, a drow woman named Araj Oblodra is working in a laboratory on the main floor of the tower. She will offer the player a powerful potion if she can take some of their blood and also requests for Astarion to bite her in exchange for another potion. Astarion immediately declines, and the player has the option of pressuring him to do so or defending his decision.

To continue romancing Astarion, players should defend Astarion from Araj. During the next long rest, Astarion thanks the player for standing up for him and opens up more.

He will tell the player more about his past and his role in luring victims back for Cazador, including how he used seduction and sex to get the player to protect them. As long as compassionate dialogue choices are made, there will be the option to begin a relationship. Astarion initially expresses surprise, then excitement at having a real relationship that’s deeper than a fleeting physical connection.

Can Astarion dump you?

Yes, there are a number of choices that will have Astarion end the relationship with the player. Some of these moments will allow the player to talk their way back into Astarion’s good graces, but it’s safer to just keep him happy with Larian Studios seemingly combatting save scumming with features like Honour Mode.

The simplest mistake to make while romancing Astarion is to miss the conversation with Araj during act two. If this happens, he will lose interest in the player and state that their night together in the forest was strictly to gain protection against Cazador. This can happen even with max approval, so talking with Araj is vital.

If the player forces Astarion to bite Araj even after expressing disgust at the idea, the next long rest will still be a conversation regarding the decision. If the correct dialogue options are picked, there is a chance that Astarion can still be romanced. Otherwise, he will call the relationship off.

baldur's gate 3 astarion kiss romance

The conversation after talking with Araj can still lead to a breakup, even if there was no bite. If the player chooses to react to everything Astarion discloses about his sexual past by asking for more sex, Astarion will hesitantly agree. The next morning, Astarion confronts the player and ends the relationship.

Astarion gets tasked with killing the Orthon named Yurgir as part of his personal quest. If the devil isn’t killed to satisfy the deal made with Raphael, it takes a persuasion or deception check to keep Astarion from leaving the party entirely, which marks the end of any romance.

If Astarion is allowed to proceed with the ritual at the end of his personal quest, there is another chance that the player may have Astarion leave. If Astarion is asked to turn the player into a spawn, he will agree after one last night together. When asked to kneel in front of the vampire, the player has the option to instead kick him in the balls. If chosen, Astarion will be furious and state he is done with the player and hopes they rot before leaving the party completely.

Is Astarion monogamous or polyamorous?

Astarion is one of only two origin characters that will accept being in a polyamorous relationship. However, the only romantic partner that can be maintained alongside Astarion is Halsin.

Halsin Baldurs Gate 3

There are few options when it comes to romancing multiple characters in Baldur’s Gate 3. When Halsin joins the team in act two, there is the chance the giant druid will express interest in the player character. If this is reciprocated, Halsin says that he will not do anything further without Astarion’s consent and possible future participation.

This allows the player to talk with Astarion about Halsin’s proposition. Astarion will agree to the arrangement, albeit with some apprehension. After being comforted, Astarion lets the player go ahead with Halsin. PC players can get around this with mods, but there’s no way to romance a character like Karlach and not break things off with Astarion.

There are no characters other than Halsin that allow for a relationship between Astarion and themselves. After the completion of Astarion’s quest, if the player returns to Sharess’ Caress there is a chance to have a night with drow twins. If Halsin was also romanced and both are brought, then the scene will have all five present.

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Written by Cassie Gardner

Cassie Gardner has been playing games since she was but a child, starting with a Game Boy when she was 5 years old. The discovery of Pokemon led to a lifelong interest in role-playing games of both the video game and tabletop varieties.

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